Wednesday, December 24, 2008


I think the following statement is one of the biggest irony of literary world...

What's there in a name.....

-William Shakespeare

Sunday, November 30, 2008

My thoughts

Among the million views and suggestions floating around, this might be just another solution to the present "terror-struck" india's problems but I think its worth a try. What do you guys/gals say about it??

Terror strikes in India is not a new problem and I think we will always be aimed at because of the face we show to the world. We are a bunch of confused lot...billions of leaves flowing down a stream, no one knows what and where its heading and what to do when the next waterfall comes!

In this situation, I think the most generic solution to India's defence related problems is building a more disciplined and responsible India. Indians, as we all, are busy blaming government, intelligence, politicians, terrorists etc etc for the latest terror strikes in India. We believe that building a stronger intelligence network will help us fight against terrorists, having a proactive-less corrupt government will help us take bolder steps. But if you look at all major terror strikes, each attack has been innovatively different from the previous one. We all know that destroying anything is far easier than protecting it and when it comes to a huge country like India, there are million gaps from where the attackers can crawl in. How many crevasses will you gaurd??? No matter how alert we are, there will always be one guy who will help the guys on the other side in their motives and they will outsmart us!!Playing the role of a normal Indian, we are blaming government for intelligence failure, army for not protecting us and terrorists for targetting us...but what are we doing to ensure it doesnt happen again!!

I stronly feel that besides beefing up our current system, we should always be prepared for anything. We can follow the footsteps of Israel and let each and every Indian attend at least one year of military training. This training should teach us "crisis-management", should aim at making us mentally tougher and be more disciplined, should aim at teaching basic first-aid and do's and dont's. The military training though will steal one year from every one's career but that can be compensated by making changes to the education system or by including this training in education system etc etc. To begin with we can make the training voluntary and see the results and later make it mandatory.
@ Mr. Arjun Singh- Quota can be raised for such trained proffessionals.

Getting a military training will have multiple benefits. First of all we'll be mentally tough and more prepared for any kind of mishap. We will learn to be more responsible, responsible for everything from throwing a polythene bag on the road to casting a vote! We will be more disciplined, disciplined enough to drive in lane and not to jump lines! Basically India will be better than what it is today....a floor full of spilled beans!!
Just imagine how many of our dear friends who lost their lives in this mishap could have saved their as well as other lives if they had a better sense of "crisis-management". With due respect to the ones who lost their lives, I would like to quote an example. Many of the people on the 6th floor of Taj, lost their lives bcoz their rooms were set on fire and they were waiting for the fire-engines. You can easily recollect their pictures-standing at window and waving to people outside, calling for help!! Was it not possible for them to climb down the building through the windows using their curtains and bed-sheets. Some people did that and they are alive. Basically, when a mishap takes place, most of us panic and this training will do nothing but teach us how to maintain our calm and think for the best solution. Also when the guys on the other side know that we are more prepared for them, they will have to think twice before turning their eyes on our field.

I also think that this training might make many of us more disciplined and responsible in life which will indirectly solve many other problems like pollution, corruption and "feeling of indifference"!!

Currently India and we Indians are seen as sitting ducks, anybody comes and knocks us down! Not only external agents but the internal agencies also do the same, where lawmakers play with law, politicians and public servants play with public and we we are just indifferent to everything. "Sab chalta hai, atleast I am not getting directly affected!!" is an Indian personality trait. I think the only way we can improve is to imbibe discipline at the very grass-root level.

Last but not the least, if we groom our fighting spirit, even if we won't succeed in struggles or fights in our day to day life, at least we'll ensure that we don't go down without a fight!!

I feel that its easier said than done but its worth a try!! One or few of us can't make the difference which India needs, instead a radical change is important!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Hope ...Game On!!


In an attempt to come up with something fresh and different, I have zeroed on this!! Its the best I could draw and hope my best is decent enough for you all! So from now on, besides writing, I will often come up with these drawings or pictures...and we will play a game....there are only 2 rules of the game:

Rule 1) I will post the picture and you will give it a title....For example, My title for this creation is HOPE! The title need not be one word only, it can be anything from a word to a line to a phrase to a blog..anything! The person who comes up with the best title will get a treat from me*.God Promise!!
* ONLY MY Terms and Conditions apply!

Rule 2) If you think you liked someone else's title..then rate it on a scale of 1-5..5 being the best!! Getting votes for your popularity is the only way of bribing me! Otherwise nobody argues with me in this game and quietly follows rule 1. 

If you think you are the outright winner...please feel free to claim your treat!

I didn't want to mention this but for those adamant souls...This is a monarchy and I am the LAW!

So Lets Game On!!

Thursday, July 24, 2008


Sitting over the cup of coffee in office Mr. Pulkit yaaawwwwwwwwwns...I thought it was just a symptom for lack of oxygen in his brain but in his dying phase of yawn with a moaning soul, he says "M bored...bored to the core with whatever is going around!! with every sunrise, a new day starts, with lot of fresh new people around but the same old me...same lousy face, who struggles to search his second pair of eyes while rubbing the first pair, same rotten toothbrush, same snoring flat mate! start getting ready for office and even before i finish getting geared up for work it's time for dinner, have dinner coz at night u can only have dinner and not lunch (sorry but cudnt find any better reason for having dinner) and then the same old day that gets over with same old glass of tea!! The only thing thats new everyday is my age, that is i get a day older and realising this I ve decided to brighten up my life...but dont kno how"

So the friend in me volunteered to give some suggestions to Mr Pulkit..plz feel free to add some more from ur personal experiences...special request to the IT engineers who definitely face this "Yawnnnn in afternoon as if its Dawn" syndrome and have found innovative ways of curing it!!

to begin with, since his day gets boring coz of a lousy morning, so he can try and avoid mornings and get up directly in afternoon! might be of great help!!
may be he can try something unique it inventing new modes of suicides which includes holding his breath till he runs out of it
in office he can try to type with an upside down keyboard
keeping a track of the number of times he refreshes his desktop aimlessly!
counting the number of times he shakes his legs while chatting on gtalk!
at the end of the day atleast think about changing his socks once in a week (this is a personal vengeance)!

while i scribble this, most of my dear friends esp those in the suicITal industry might be feeling related to Mr. Pulkit...must be hallucinating of sitting in the same boat that strays aimlessly everyday and before we realize this its time again to Yawwwwnnn!!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Man Watching

Hello fellow Indian Men,

Now this one is going to be a bit nasty and might hurt u as much as it hurts when u get hit at ur 'manlihood meter' but let me mention before I start..I am proud to be an Indian and happily belong to the clan of Indian men...Have u ever made an attempt to stretch ur observation powers a little beyond Chicks and observe each other...I am not talking abt swinging to the other side of the gender, instead its just a courteous attempt to throw some light upon US, the Indian Men...
To cut the ribbon: you all might have heard a lot about the B triangle (aka bermuda triangle), let me introduce you to the H triangle, which engulfs us, the Indians...the three H that define most of us are..Hair, Hygiene and Habits...

All Indian men, have miles of hair on them..according to a survey, whose results are subject to change without any intimation, number of hair on Indian men is equal to the number of rice grains india produces every year..Now many men consider it to be a sign of manlihood and others hate them like weed in their kitchen garden...personally I can go on and on and on about this "Hairy-Fairy Tale"..but let me press the breaks by quoting Russell Peters, "God played a cruel joke on Indian men, he put them in some of the hottest parts of the world with forests of hair on them...Then he said..Go enjoy!!"

Lets not talk about hygiene...we might end up getting in such corners of your house or body parts which might lead to the phenomenon called "mass puking"...just a friendly advice...lets take bath regularly,atleast everyday!!

Habits...hmmm..wat to say..Our habits make us stand above any league of ordinary or even extraordinary Men..One of the most common habits of most of us is it scratching head, chest, waist, neck, cheek,nose or...!! all of us have a favourite body part where we start scratching when we are doing nothing...You see, we cant sit idle..Just observe it once, and you will end up laughing in many situations...let me quote an example without the due permission of my dear friend...He has this "subconscious scratching" habit and his fav part is a little below naval..though not very unhygienically below...The other day he met a gal who was in his school after couple of years..standing on the road, leaning on the street light pole, his subconscious took over him and while his hands were busy,he delivered the dialogue..."Has been years since we met, wanna come home!!"..Imagine the rest!!

Going topless is one of the rituals which most of us it the pandit in temple who is uncovered above waist or the lesser-men endorsing the national uniform aka baniyan (undershirt)...and if we wear shirts, we keep the top one or two buttons open to stick to our culture! We see no shame in showing off our manly chests!

Another habit of 'the' US is the "street-lion" behaviour..No matter how much humble or may be meak we are, most of us forget the spellings of humility when we realise that we are standing in an area which is closer to our home...I am talking about all those dudes who stand at the shops at the corner of streets sometimes eve-teasing, ..or all those kings who feel the imaginary air of "his-highness" while walking down their residential street with their chest puffed up and eyes searching for the north pole star believing that all gals are checking them out...or studs who ride bikes like stunt men near their homes...This "kingism" is backed by the assurance that we are close to our house and we have enough "backing" available, incase we get into any trouble! You will find most of these lions roaming in herds..pumping each other to do something which is not being allowed...e.g. the dj tells to lionA, u cant dance..lionA comes to lionB and lionC and informs them that their request is being turned down..lionB and lionC get up and say "Come, lets see how that a**hole is not letting us dance"..they go to the dance floor and push the lionA in the front to do most of the talking,while they stand behind supporting him morally :) isnt that a common site we can relate to!!

The list doesnt end here..and I hope most of us will take these Hz sportingly!! Some of the other observations include,
letching..where almost every Indian man tries it atleast more than n times to tease or oggle at the females with "those" eyes..As commented by many gals "Such deprived souls we are"!!
public-service...using roads and streets as personal comodes and wash-basins is our birth right..No matter how educated or facilitated we are, there is no fun like indulging in public service!
hugging, holding hand and kissing fellow men..these might b the ways of showing affection but once in a blue moon they are fine..not for every 'white' or 'no moon' reason!!

After reading this most of us might believe that these observations are not restricted to only India but are worse in other parts of the planet and not all the things mentioned belong to everyone...but in one way or the other most of us can relate to more than one of the things mentioned here!

Last words :- I am still straight and will stay unto D day...Observing fellow men, was just like window shopping or bird watching or star gazing...I still love indulging in some of these "Indian-men" acts and will always be a proud Indian coz no matter what happens or wat we do "we Indians gave world "The Kamasutra" and we can still screw the world in more number of ways than they can imagine!!- Papa C J"

Friday, June 13, 2008


Caveat: This writeup is for those who know/feel that science is not only a subject but a feeling!

Driving on a highway, listening to Metallica, imagining the guitarists fingers flowing through the fret board of the guitar, i cud feel myself getting goosebumps! I was wondering what is it in human beings that gives them a high. Isn't it so astonishing that the mind which controls the whole body, itself loses control and flies! How does one provide a reason for this state in which the mind-body transcend. Let me give it a try..

To begin with, how does one get a high...what are the shooters that give u a high...Most of you relate high with booze/dope but I believe that they give the worst quality of highs.It is one of the most short lived highs that also leads to post-high effects like hangover and GUILT. And surprisingly the best things that give you a high are not palpable..your favourite song, a beautiful alaap by your favourite singer, an amazing dance, a beautiful move in your favourite sport or the most simple of all a good deed that makes ur soul happy smthng like making a kid smile :) {sounds too philosophical but I guess it works...thats the EQ on which vodafone and airtel adds cash on}

So what is it that gives sends the mind to a different world.. I feel its a simple scientific rule of communication that can define the high... here goes the THEORY OF HIGH:
Every communication is accomplished in 3 steps... u send a message, receiver receives a message and sends u an acknowledgement, u receive the acknowledgement to complete the loop of communication....our body works in the same manner, brain tells the body to do smthng, body does it and asks the head if its being done in the right manner, then the brain decides if its being done in the best possible way!

Now when u get a high, your body stops listening to the brain..its as simple as the fact that there are no 2 entities like the brain and the body...they become a single piece and there is no time lag of communication and acknowledgement....imagine ur favourite shooter and u ll b easily able to identify where does this rule fit into it!

P.S: I kno this article is ultra philosophical and scientific..forgive me from digressing from my "humour" oriented style of writing! Comments still awaited!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Chelsea Vs. ManU

I feel that penalty shoot-outs is just a way of forcibly finishing the game and giving it some result. Tossing a coin to find the result is just another option for the same though its a bit more easier and less biased than penalties.

First 40 minutes of the game ManU came all guns roaring but the moment Chelsea pressed the accelerator the red rodents ran hither-thither as if a cat has passed by. They were not able to understand whats that spherical thing rolling on the grass :) To summarize you will not find a blue supporter who is ashamed/utterly
disappointed of the loss but many ManU fans are still panting, trying to find that "sigh of relief"

I m sure the blues ve won many more fans (though not the cup). Drogba was indeed a shame!

At the end of the day, it was just another game where the score line never told who played of the games
for which its said ...WELL PLAYED BUT HARD LUCK!

As far as Tevez is concerned, may be its my lack of opportunities or may b my good luck, I ve never seen him play for what he was bought. He is the Shevchenko of ManU.

I kno many of u will post ur comments on the rhythm "ManU has WON and thats the end of it" and I truely agree with them.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


Hello blog/blog readers...

I was hibernating in the polythene and finally fell short of breath. So had to come out. It seems ages since I poured my observations in the polythene. Though I have not come up with a specific plan or agenda to talk about but lets talk in general and lets see what we end up with...

After finding the "wife on Mars" my humour bone started shrinking and I guess I started finding less reasons to laugh about...may b i fell in love with the "wife on Mars". If I try to recapitulate my observations for last 3 months...I find nothing really funny out there...the same old noise machine i ride..the same old pot hole on the Madivala Market road which is getting deeper and will soon form Madivala Lake: Part II...the same old cow standing besides the road trying to cross the road at around 6:30pm, peak office hour (i wonder how she manages to be so punctual...or can she smell me coming). Talking about road observations..let me share smthng scientific..I ve come up with a theory of "pillion sniffer".
using MY theory of "pillion sniffer" you can easily find out from a distance the age and gender of the pillion rider on the two wheeler in front of you...from one arm distance anybody can find this out but mind it i m talking about "from a distance"...The calculations are as follows: If the person sitting behind is holding the support behind the bike then either its an old man(worried for his life) or a gal (to maintain safe distance) if the head is still, neck stretched tall, peeping over the rider's shoulder then its for sure a gal..who is trying to look at the road ahead and all set to jump in case her eyes catch something which the rider missed...u see gals normally dont trust guys blindly...if the neck is relaxed and head is swirling all over the world..then its a young lad checking out or i shud say making observations... they dont care where they fall!
Note: This theory adheres to the theory of it might not hold good in all situations...there are non-male and non-female people arnd us,'mind it'!!

Coming back to traffic...Tata uncle has come up with a gr8 solution for zipping through jams and narrow roads...I wont go in details of describing the microscopic features of Nano...but one thing is for sure...the world is going nano (read small)...everything is all started with the global village concept where distances started shrinking..then came lawn mower which shrunk to an electric shaver...following this shrinking norm came internet, mobile phones, pamela anderson wardrobe, T20 cricket and now nano...god knows wats in store in future...Just hope that for some things the rule of "the bigger the better" holds good always!!

Till the next set of observations...Chao!

Friday, January 25, 2008

wife on mars

6:30 am , getting ready for a game of football, I switch on the TV and guess what i get to hear! Pictures of a naked woman taken on Mars. The first thing that struck my mind was that its another Vijaya Mallaya stunt to pump a new life in his annual swimsuit calender photoshoot! But soon I realised that F1 cars dont go to Mars neither does Kingfisher...though its a different story that u feel like being on a mission to Mars inside a Deccan flight, where factors like g force( g stands for gravity;not gals), water-tight seats and the fellow astronauts play a crucial role!

Listening further to the news, I was wondering if its one of the woman liberation activists who has gone miles just to prove that women are always ahead of men...If man can land on moon then woman can sun bathe on mars! Armstrong's famous lines echoed in my head "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind." But he never knew that his giant leap for mankind will be overtaken so soon...where a comrade from "womankind" will leap from earth to mars that too just for a better tan!

Riding my bike towards the ground, i was still thinking about this "mysterious gal"! As far as I remember the flight to mars has never been launched from India,so she is not a "runaway bride" aka Lola...who wud have ran all the way as no one asked her to stop..all she heard was run lola run.... hmmmmmm...since the first flight was sent by US, I hope this lady is not one of the exiled citizens of the way it has been long since I heard about Monica Lewinsky...where is she??

I reached the ground..n the ball hitting my secured ares sparked the idea that how can anyone claim that the figure is a woman's....i kno many non-female men who have been "eve"-teased and that too to the teaser's embarassement...If the person over there is a man...then i m sure it Osama...full shaven...sitting cozy..enjoying life! Osama can do anything!

So this figure has sparked tonnes of it real or just an illusion...if real then is it a guy or a comic question that cropped up was "is she a virgin"...dont ask me who was inquisitive abt that! But i just pray that there is life on Mars and this person actually teaches us how to live there! So many problems will be resolved...we ll have another planet to hang around on...population wont be explosive any more....and to the best of my advantage...most of the IT companies will shift base to mars...bangalore will b a better place to live!

Just imagine...wat if the life is taking a full circle...watever happened on earth is happenning on mars too....The EVE has landed...soon Mr Adam will apple tree will crop up from somewhere....followed by the snake....history will repeat itself...and after millions of years another software engineer on Mars will be sitting idle on a Friday afternoon writting a blog about life on Jupiter!!

by the way wat do u think that figure is?