Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I love..

This is my first & as of now the last love-letter...

i love
i love ur thump when you jump with joy!
I love when you kiss my head, like I am your boy!!
i love ur whisper when you slide on wet grass,
i love when for you I dive and crash
my love
i love the way you swing in air
i love to see you fly so high
i love to listen you scream in my ear
i just wanna be with you; never say good-bye!!

i was forced to add this line bcoz most of you are thinking that its for a person!!

Thursday, July 9, 2009


Two sensational or rather path-breaking news have come within a week which have forced a weird thought in me...
First one is the withdrawal of section 377, legalizing marital relationship with a person of same sex, a.k.a gay relationships (no offense intended)
Second, Scientists being able to produce artificial sperms from stem cells.

So squeezing & blending these two news, the juicy thought that came out of the mixer was- are we heading towards an era where men will be a redundant entity!!!
With due respect to geniuses who will say that men are not required only to produce offspring, I am daring to imagine a world where "MAN" will become an endangered species!!

According to a survey conducted by Cosmo, if given a choice 76% women prefer to have a girl child & I guess rest dont want to have a child!! I have always wondered that despite having the ability to bitch about their best female friend, women still prefer a girl child; another woman in their lives..probably coz they are easier to handle or god knows why!!!!

Anyways...if you think of an earth where we have mostly women, roaming around in free space....hold ur imagination...dont imagine that u are the only man there!!!
There will be other men too but due to their rarity, they will be kept in special protected areas called "Him-alaya"!! Women will visit those places to show their female kids what "Men" were...

Or men will only be seen at construction, digging, mining sites..which require muscle power & the capability to work against all odds!! Thankfully the board "men at work" will not change!!

But the board saying "dont pee on this wall" or "look the donkey is peeing" will be seen nowhere...as roadside peeing will become an extinct art!!

Every building will have a new storey, called "He-storey" {read history} dedicated for men.

The viewership of cartoon serials ending with "man" will increase drastically....He-Man, Spider-Man, Super-Man, Hanu-Man, Poke-Man etc etc !!!

Usage of words like "co-ed", " rape", "MF" , "bastard", "eve-teasing" will fall drastically!!

Sales of whiskey & black rum will plummet whereas vodka and flavored bacardi will sell like roadside tea.
On the other hand the commodities like capstan, navy cut, wills, fair and handsome cream, viagra etc etc will go out of production!!

There will be no pockets in pants for handkerchieves & wallets, probably there will be no "fly" as well!!Belt might go out of fashion & waist will be all elastic!!

These things are still bearable....but take this...

Half of the world will be pink...and the other half "zingu"...{generally I hear such weird names of colours like beige, bottle-green, sea-green, sky-green,green-green...so i m sure there will be a zingu-green too!!} I guess Rainbow itself will be re-defined to have more than 7 colours!!

Women will have all the authority in the world, the world will be neat & tidy..so tidy that even pigs will find it difficult to survive, the birds will have to think twice before they "do the do" while flying....everything will be in place!!

Each building will have a huge, huge & huge compound for Parking...facilitating parking in any direction...probably the parking markers on the ground will no longer be rectangular...they will be circular!!

Each road, each street, each lane will have a direction pointer & milestone!!

Car accident will not be considered a crime..instead there will be allowances for road accidents in national budgets..but 80kmhr will be considered over-speeding!!

Toast-Master club will be renamed to Toast-Mistress and ladies would be encouraged to have lavish gossip sessions..

Every country's national food will be cheese...it will sell like salt!!

The situation might worsen so much that even the words like "mail" & "many" will be replaced by "femail" & "womany"!! Even the quotations will be modified to suit women...one of my favourite ones that will fade away is: "Behind every successful man, there is a woman"...Successful and man will never be supporting each other in a sentence!!

The book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" will have a second edition "Men were from Mars & Woman are on Earth"

In short, women will have the power to fulfill all their needs in their hands!!! :)

Last but not the least, I would definitely love to be one of those who will be "bred" in "Him-alaya"!! ;)

Phewww....what do you say will happen in such a world??? Despite imagining all this I know men will never be extinct...not only because they will force themselves out of rarity but also because the fairer sex will not let them run out of numbers!!
They need us almost as much as we need them....i think so!!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Obama is a guinea pig!!

I feel that the hype and hoopla being created around Mr. President, is a mist created to cover the ground realities. Mr. President falls under several categories which make him vulnerable to be a guinea for the vested interests of many.
1) His timing; Everything around is going wrong, economy is crumbling, frauds are unearthing, people are going jobless, USA's war decisions are being proven wrong and criminal, nobody has a clue what is going to happen and how its going to be back to normal. In this grim situation comes a man who will fix everything and bring smile to everyone's face..No i m not talking about Santa (not even the Santa of Santa Banta fame), I am talking about Mr Obama. He is the superman, he can do everything, everything that's beyond human capabilities like race against time. He will heal the economic wounds much before they would normally heal, his midas touch will bring the glory of gold back in the sunlight.....Isnt this what is being projected??
Basically, its a human behaviour...whenever we get into trouble, we look for support and a shoulder..or probably a garbage bin where we can dump all our problems & pains and then watch from a distance.Mr. President has been made to bear the load of the world, and he will have to rise above his human capabilities to fix things within time. Otherwise,two things will happen; the problems will get resolved with time OR the problem will stay for some more time and then get resolved :)

2) His abilities/inabilities; He is a black and a born-muslim. So people are using those characteristics as a selling point as well. To showcase how he has risen from nowhere and then using it as his USP. I dont doubt his days of struggle but are they big enough to make him bear the load of the world?

3) American attitude; I have noticed that since Americans are elite pampered kids of the world, for them even a small fart is a HUGE bang. Everybody starts talking about it, everybody starts getting scared and running around, everybody is concerned....its like...ohh my god, he is eating with unwashed hands...he can die of jaundice, please donate for his hospitalisation!
So even though the world crisis is humungous, it can be solved by doing work and not creating havoc!! On a similar note, before Obama several president's have taken oath, then what is it that is so big about him that you can make him a superhero even before he has done anything

I think Obama is just a name being used to sell things, being used to dump the work on, being used to give a name to a guinea pig!

....welcome onboard Mr. President. Please prove me wrong, i will be more than happy!