Friday, August 10, 2007

bindia to india

India is a democratic, secular republic. The country is of the people for the people and by the people...but as i have always asked...who are these people...atleast i dnt get a feel that i m one of those.
U c i cant drink wat i want coz its gandhiz bday today...i cant talk to some1 coz he prays with his palms open...i cant marry some1 coz her god was crucified and ours has never shed blood....forget all these big things....i cant watch something coz some people dnt want me to watch it! My life, my eyes, my thoughts and i am an adult who knows what my neighbour with 10 kids did 10 times and i should not do at wrong time!!
Actually these thoughts/frustation cropped up in my head coz i saw a gang of hooligans tearing down one of the movie posters and causing havoc in the area...when asked why are they doing it ( i didn't ask )...most of them told that its anti social, vulgar and crappy movie....will spoil the society!! it did they come to know abt it without watching??
everything is a selfish drama in this country...these guys were doing it coz they want publicity in the local mob! sometime back..some local gang called "yuva shakti" cropped up and vandalised "athena-the disco" in bangalore..claiming that it is spoiling the culture of bangalore...before breaking the things..these guys were sitting inside dancing and boozing :)
ok..these are publicity hungry hooligans resorting to cheap stunts to get some man power and get into the good books of the local leader!! but wat abt our censor board...
all of them are well educated people who have been dancing in half clothes in movies when their moms used to run after them with shawl to cover them. These people cut down the "censored" parts of the movies. The scenes are too hot and vulgar so the kids should not watch to save the heritage of our country, they cut those scenes..not that i m desperate to watch those scenes...and also in this e-world they cant stop me from seeing them ...but who are they to tell us whats not good for us or our kids...arent parents supposed to decide wat their children shud watch?? a limit this policing might b helping set the social moral values correct but plz dnt censor everything!!
Earlier there was a censor board only for movies...then came this board for ads....banning ads coz they dnt publicize the right product in right manner! somebody shud tell these people that ads are not a description of the product..its a publicity from sales perspective and the stronger an impact it makes on a viewer's head, the better its recall value...let the viewer have jurisdiction power!
never know wat all censors are gonna come up...cant wear short pants..coz they show ur knee and hairy will get scared!! cant put wireless earpiece as it makes u look like an will get scared!! cant fart in will get scared!! cant talk in kannada in will get scared!! censor all shudnt get affected!
I was wondering if this censoring is just a present day fad or it has been there since ages..was it always here when we wrote KS or it came with Firangs...
This question makes me imagine that Some1 like gandhi nehru wud have tried calling apni bharat mata "bindia" to represent the heritage, wifey loyalty etc values of this country...but these queen's illegitimate sons found it too vulgar to name the country after a "gal" they removed the "b" and made it india!!

Censorship is nothing but another way of tying down the society, thoughts and ideas..dont u think Gandhi fought against all these things,millions laid down their lives to come over all these...but...where are we today, still under them???

2 minutes of silence ....For world peace...and freedom!

Saturday, August 4, 2007


Six pack, chiseled arms, bulging chest and fluttering wings! These are a turn on for so many gals...and a dream for more guys! I am no different and since my "hosh sambhalna" days..i have been visiting the gyms! I have never been consistent and have never taken it too seriously...but its fun to visit a gym...especially the "co-ed" or co-gym kinds where the chicks sweat it out with dudes!

Times have changed a lot since the day i first lifted a bar.Most of the iron in "pumping iron" has been replaced with rubber and cables, instructors have become more diet conscious than weight oriented and size is not the only thing that matters now but there are some things that have just remained the same...each generation of novice gymmers whom i call "jimmyz" do the same mistakes! yes i am talking abt the bloopers in gym! everyone who has been visiting gym would have seen atleast one of the stupidities that i m going to mention...and most of them happen in "co-ed" kind gyms.

Before i start..i wud like to introduce u to one of the common characters in the gym..she is an above average looking chick standing at the corner oggling at u! now read on to know wat all she can do!

One of the most common things that most guys do is to over do the set coz that chick on the corner is checking u doing wont do any good to u..and the oggling eyes of the chick wont massage ur cramped muscles!

Another annoying but really funny thing that guys do in gym, and that too again to impress the same chick oggling from that corner is to make noise while lifting weight! Sir, u are not making love in the gym...i agree that talking to urself does motivate u..but plz talk to urself plz....u shud not misunderstand ur moans to b a mating call for the chick..she is not gonna get aroused on hearing u scream!

Now gals are not the only factors that make guys commit mistakes...some of us are really dumb enough to create funny situations and i thank them coz laughter is a good exercise!

Let me tell u this...yesterday i was standing next to the instructor discussing his family problems when suddenly we saw a guy holding the cable with his mouth and pulling it! normally that cable is used for tricep(part of ur arm) xtensions but on seeing him use it for jaw strengthening the instructor ran to him...when asked wat was that moron trying to do, we were non-chalantely informed that he is working out his face and wants a longer face with good cheek bones! man-o-man..i have nothing to say abt him...some people are born intelligent..he was one of them!!

A point to be noted is that in a gym, being over shy and reserved can be fatal. Most guys who dont have gym partners tend to workout alone...and most of the times end up lifting weights beyond their capacity. Best part comes when they dont even have anyone to provide support! The deadly combo is that u are shy so u didnt ask for any support, then u are lifting weight (more than the burden of ur family), and the same chick is oggling at u are doomed!! its a weight that u just couldnot "do" and instead u tend to "overdo" while u are struggling to lift it...making all kind of noises..concentrating hard on the weights as well as the corner of the gym...mother earth comes into picture...gravity was always there..but u suddenly start realising its presence to be more astounding! now u are lying on this bench with the rod lying on ur chest..and u cant lift it to put it back on stand...u cant ask for any help coz u are shy..and u cant shout coz u think that the chick is still checking u out! u are in no soup..u are in shit and gravity indeed sucks! god save u from such situations!

one of the best place to get some of the funniest situations in the gym is to stand next to the instructor..people are so inquisitive and concerned that they unknowingly tend to increas their humour can i make my neck thicker..i want a dimple on my cheeks,wat to do...wats the exercise for eyes....will it hurt tomorrow if lift a lot of weight today....i have annual day celebration next week and i want to look slim for the attire i m gonna wear, so how can i lose 10kg in a week (quickly visit somalia)....i dnt want to lose fat from my arms and legs, but only want it to vanish from my paunch, how to do that....why dont u reduce the fee of the gym, alredy i spend so much on eating, so i dnt want to waste more money on losing weight..these are some of the normal ones i can recall.. but the funniest one that beats all of these hands down is..

"i have constipation and i have been struggling for 2 days now...wat exercise shud help me attend the nature's call confortably"...the moment he told this...i left the gym coz gas molecules disperse pretty easily and i didnt have cold that day!

so all this really happens in a gym and most of these happen with jimmyz...i bet each one of us wud have come across one thing or the other!!

P.S: If u kno some incident that is worth mentioning..kindly comment it out..i wud b more than happy to add it to the writeup with ur name, u c i hate plagiarism!
Also plz dnt send any goons to bash me up if i mocked at u!

happy jimming and stay healthy and dnt forget...everyone has to land in the grave..its upto the person to chose how he/she lands there....wanna reach there crawling,struggling,panting with million diseases on his/her shoulders or just wanna keep running till the end and take a final plunge into it!

happy living!