HIGH DEFINED!

Caveat: This writeup is for those who know/feel that science is not only a subject but a feeling!

Driving on a highway, listening to Metallica, imagining the guitarists fingers flowing through the fret board of the guitar, i cud feel myself getting goosebumps! I was wondering what is it in human beings that gives them a high. Isn't it so astonishing that the mind which controls the whole body, itself loses control and flies! How does one provide a reason for this state in which the mind-body transcend. Let me give it a try..

To begin with, how does one get a high...what are the shooters that give u a high...Most of you relate high with booze/dope but I believe that they give the worst quality of highs.It is one of the most short lived highs that also leads to post-high effects like hangover and GUILT. And surprisingly the best things that give you a high are not palpable..your favourite song, a beautiful alaap by your favourite singer, an amazing dance, a beautiful move in your favourite sport or the most simple of all a good deed that makes ur soul happy smthng like making a kid smile :) {sounds too philosophical but I guess it works...thats the EQ on which vodafone and airtel adds cash on}

So what is it that gives sends the mind to a different world.. I feel its a simple scientific rule of communication that can define the high... here goes the THEORY OF HIGH:
Every communication is accomplished in 3 steps... u send a message, receiver receives a message and sends u an acknowledgement, u receive the acknowledgement to complete the loop of communication....our body works in the same manner, brain tells the body to do smthng, body does it and asks the head if its being done in the right manner, then the brain decides if its being done in the best possible way!

Now when u get a high, your body stops listening to the brain..its as simple as the fact that there are no 2 entities like the brain and the body...they become a single piece and there is no time lag of communication and acknowledgement....imagine ur favourite shooter and u ll b easily able to identify where does this rule fit into it!

P.S: I kno this article is ultra philosophical and scientific..forgive me from digressing from my "humour" oriented style of writing! Comments still awaited!

Chelsea Vs. ManU

I feel that penalty shoot-outs is just a way of forcibly finishing the game and giving it some result. Tossing a coin to find the result is just another option for the same though its a bit more easier and less biased than penalties.

First 40 minutes of the game ManU came all guns roaring but the moment Chelsea pressed the accelerator the red rodents ran hither-thither as if a cat has passed by. They were not able to understand whats that spherical thing rolling on the grass :) To summarize you will not find a blue supporter who is ashamed/utterly
disappointed of the loss but many ManU fans are still panting, trying to find that "sigh of relief"

I m sure the blues ve won many more fans (though not the cup). Drogba was indeed a shame!

At the end of the day, it was just another game where the score line never told who played better...one of the games
for which its said ...WELL PLAYED BUT HARD LUCK!

As far as Tevez is concerned, may be its my lack of opportunities or may b my good luck, I ve never seen him play for what he was bought. He is the Shevchenko of ManU.

I kno many of u will post ur comments on the rhythm "ManU has WON and thats the end of it" and I truely agree with them.

Observations

Hello blog/blog readers...

I was hibernating in the polythene and finally fell short of breath. So had to come out. It seems ages since I poured my observations in the polythene. Though I have not come up with a specific plan or agenda to talk about but lets talk in general and lets see what we end up with...

After finding the "wife on Mars" my humour bone started shrinking and I guess I started finding less reasons to laugh about...may b i fell in love with the "wife on Mars". If I try to recapitulate my observations for last 3 months...I find nothing really funny out there...the same old noise machine i ride..the same old pot hole on the Madivala Market road which is getting deeper and will soon form Madivala Lake: Part II...the same old cow standing besides the road trying to cross the road at around 6:30pm, peak office hour (i wonder how she manages to be so punctual...or can she smell me coming). Talking about road observations..let me share smthng scientific..I ve come up with a theory of "pillion sniffer".
using MY theory of "pillion sniffer" you can easily find out from a distance the age and gender of the pillion rider on the two wheeler in front of you...from one arm distance anybody can find this out but mind it i m talking about "from a distance"...The calculations are as follows: If the person sitting behind is holding the support behind the bike then either its an old man(worried for his life) or a gal (to maintain safe distance)...now if the head is still, neck stretched tall, peeping over the rider's shoulder then its for sure a gal..who is trying to look at the road ahead and all set to jump in case her eyes catch something which the rider missed...u see gals normally dont trust guys blindly...if the neck is relaxed and head is swirling all over the world..then its a young lad checking out or i shud say making observations... they dont care where they fall!
Note: This theory adheres to the theory of relativity..so it might not hold good in all situations...there are non-male and non-female people arnd us,'mind it'!!

Coming back to traffic...Tata uncle has come up with a gr8 solution for zipping through jams and narrow roads...I wont go in details of describing the microscopic features of Nano...but one thing is for sure...the world is going nano (read small)...everything is shrinking...it all started with the global village concept where distances started shrinking..then came lawn mower which shrunk to an electric shaver...following this shrinking norm came internet, mobile phones, pamela anderson wardrobe, T20 cricket and now nano...god knows wats in store in future...Just hope that for some things the rule of "the bigger the better" holds good always!!

Till the next set of observations...Chao!

wife on mars

6:30 am , getting ready for a game of football, I switch on the TV and guess what i get to hear! Pictures of a naked woman taken on Mars. The first thing that struck my mind was that its another Vijaya Mallaya stunt to pump a new life in his annual swimsuit calender photoshoot! But soon I realised that F1 cars dont go to Mars neither does Kingfisher...though its a different story that u feel like being on a mission to Mars inside a Deccan flight, where factors like g force( g stands for gravity;not gals), water-tight seats and the fellow astronauts play a crucial role!

Listening further to the news, I was wondering if its one of the woman liberation activists who has gone miles just to prove that women are always ahead of men...If man can land on moon then woman can sun bathe on mars! Armstrong's famous lines echoed in my head "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind." But he never knew that his giant leap for mankind will be overtaken so soon...where a comrade from "womankind" will leap from earth to mars that too just for a better tan!

Riding my bike towards the ground, i was still thinking about this "mysterious gal"! As far as I remember the flight to mars has never been launched from India,so she is not a "runaway bride" aka Lola...who wud have ran all the way as no one asked her to stop..all she heard was run lola run.... hmmmmmm...since the first flight was sent by US, I hope this lady is not one of the exiled citizens of US...by the way it has been long since I heard about Monica Lewinsky...where is she??

I reached the ground..n the ball hitting my secured ares sparked the idea that how can anyone claim that the figure is a woman's....i kno many non-female men who have been "eve"-teased and that too to the teaser's embarassement...If the person over there is a man...then i m sure it Osama...full shaven...sitting cozy..enjoying life! Osama can do anything!

So this figure has sparked tonnes of questions...is it real or just an illusion...if real then is it a guy or a gal...one comic question that cropped up was "is she a virgin"...dont ask me who was inquisitive abt that! But i just pray that there is life on Mars and this person actually teaches us how to live there! So many problems will be resolved...we ll have another planet to hang around on...population wont be explosive any more....and to the best of my advantage...most of the IT companies will shift base to mars...bangalore will b a better place to live!

Just imagine...wat if the life is taking a full circle...watever happened on earth is happenning on mars too....The EVE has landed...soon Mr Adam will come...an apple tree will crop up from somewhere....followed by the snake....history will repeat itself...and after millions of years another software engineer on Mars will be sitting idle on a Friday afternoon writting a blog about life on Jupiter!!

by the way wat do u think that figure is?

Merry Christmas..infact.. MERA Christmas

I am celebrating christmas big time....let me tell u how!!

Last night i hung one of my sock in my almirah waiting for Santa to come in and drop some gift in it...but my bad luck went worse again....by mistake i hung a sock that I had been wearing for 7 days non stop...Dear Santa came on his reindeer...saw the sock...the moment he got close to it...he got a shot of local anaesthesia ...Santa fainted then n there!! Poor reindeer had to drag him back out of the town on the sledge..
God got angry...and instead of sending the Clause fame Santa...he sent Banta famed Santa...whose arm pits were stinking more than my sock ...he came to my room...shook me up..and gave me around 1200 files to analyse!! So here i m sitting in office.....celebrating my Christmas....

Jingle BAEL (ox) Jingle BAEL...jingle all the way!

Merry Christmas to u all !!

I ve got mail!!!

this one is going to b a simple one....and i might get shot/burried/assasinated/blasted..in short killed for this...so all those whom i owe money...my number is 9886770713

i got a mail from one of my closest friends, namyata pathak..name not changed for public interest..the mail goes like this..

When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply. When a GIRL
looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long
you will be around. When a GIRL answers " I'm fine " after a few
seconds ... she is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying. When
a GIRL lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers
forever. When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be
pampered. When a GIRL says " I love you " ... she means it. When a
GIRL says " I miss you " ... no one in this world can miss you more
than that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person
.... Find a guy ... who calls you beautiful instead of hot. who calls
you back when you hang up on him. who will stay awake just to watch
you sleep. Wait for the guy who ... kisses your forehead. Who wants to
show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your
hand in front of his friends. Who is constantly reminding you of how
much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Who turns to
his friends and says, " That's her!! "

So i m making an attempt to answer it in my words....after all in a democratic republic even i have a say for the fair-n-handsome sex!

so let me try to make a similar quote for guys....

When a guy is quiet ... he wants peace n silence so that he can take rest...so please shut up!
When a guy is not arguing ... he has given up on the gal n is testing his levels of patience!
When a guy looks at u with eyes full of questions ... he wants to ask you questions or he is hungry!
When a guy answers " I'm fine " atleast for that moment he is truely fine or his name is Fine.

When a guy stares at you ... he might be admiring you or you just fell in his range of sight!
When a guy lays on your chest ... you can't breathe!
When a guy wants to see you everyday... he wants to spend time with you or you owe him money!
When a guy says " I love you " ... he means.."i like you more than anyone else I like..can we stay together".
When a guy says "I miss you " ...he assumes/knows that only u can miss him more than how much he is missing you!
that's HIM
so guys are very simple....they show wat they mean!

actually mother nature and father god planned it very well....they made the creature with a little lighter brain, complex so that the simpler creature can understand the complex creature with less complexity....darwin's theory of smthng, may b balance!!

for world peace!

P.S. words speak louder than actions...pen is mightier than sword...keyboard is better than slap..so instead of waiting for the moment to slap me/ or support my thoughts...please post a comment!

our official team trip

Now many of you might not feel related to this writeup, but just for records as well as to share what we went through..i m posting it here!!
COMMENTS STILL AWAITED



29th October 2007, a remarkable day in our history. Sensex touched 20k, Mr. Ambani became world’s richest man, it didn’t rain in Bangalore and not to forget ZTRANS team went for a team outing with most of the team members making it successfully back from the trip, all those who didn’t make it back actually didn’t go and missed the fun!

The planning started days ago, or may be months ago or must be more than an year, if you count the excitement of team outing as one of the components of planning for the outing. This time Mr. Solaiyappan PICCHIAPPAN and Mrs Divya Praksh were given the reigns to organize the event for us and they finally did it. It all started with ZTRANSites getting aware of the fact that each one of us deserves Rs. 1200/- for extra-PMRicular work and as expected things happened - discussions, meeting, planning, meeting, finalizing, meeting, postponing, meeting, multiple teams joining, meeting, rage, meeting and finally outing.

The destined day came, as decided there were 2 pick up points, EGL 6:30am SHARP and Mantri 7:00 am CUTTING EDGE. A huge SRS bus came and we all got into it but by the miscalculation of the aura and entropy of the people in the bus, some of the most mischievously fun loving people got in the last couple of rows of the bus. One question still goes unanswered, why were all of them from ZTRANS? The party started with the first rev of the bus. Heading on the smooth, straight Kanakpura road the organizing team took command and decided to reshuffle the seats so that everyone comes to know each other. For all those who don’t know, the outing was for 3 teams, ZTRANS, HPC and Solutions. So it was pretty logical for all to pick a chit from the pandora’s bowl and sit with a person who has another chit with same colour name mentioned. Step two was to introduce your partner. Most of the people obeyed the rules and played pretty well except few. I recall that those people were called hooligans or indisciplined but ignorant world, they were just color blinds. Despite this they played pretty well and everyone in the bus was introduced. I just remember meeting a new guy called Solaiyappan Pichhiappan and one rollicking gal, forgot her name though. The bus meandered through the hills, serene landscape, along the river and with the burps of our Food court idlis and wadas we landed at Bheemeshwari.

Part two of the trip starts. Excited bunch of people started taking snaps, all over the place, from the welcome hut to the mouth watering welcome drink, from the rafting boats to tree branches. Time to rock and roll arrived, the guide announced the commencement of rafting. People changed into their casuals, got into the life jackets, guarded their heads, grabbed the oars and posed for the photographs. They knew that hardly they dress up like gladiators. Some great instructions were given by the guide in a very interesting way. After some warm up exercises in the raft the whole group of strong hearted and well insured people set off in 3 rafts, one guide per raft. Drifting along the river, we were following the instructions of the guide. Forward, backward and stop were the three instructions and it was enough for us to meander the boat. The guide guided the boat well enough to ensure that we get a great feel of the rapids. Some of the rapids were huge, huge enough that the first person saw a 4 feet water-wall whereas the last guy was in air for couple of seconds. For all those who feared drowning and hence never got into the water, there was the special activity where everyone on the boat got down in the water and couple of us swam as well. I personally found swimming against the current to be the second toughest thing, first one being arranging the team outing! We saw a baby crocodile and an elephant on our rafting trip. We pulled our anchors down at a point from where the open air geep ride to the base camp was another enthralling experience. Many of us used it as a good opportunity to dry ourselves off.

Now what, sitting and thinking, we got on a net hanging from the tree branches and had a great time swinging there. Time for lunch, we had the super spicy but good food. Post lunch, we were planning to relax on the hoards of hammocks, swings and nets over there but to begin the series of heart breaks, we were told to finish off the coracle ride! Hurried into the coracles, the herd of coracles was set off on the same rafting route. Though coracle came nowhere close to the rafting experience yet it was a great experience. Just imagine putting an ant in a bowl and sending the bowl down a small stream. Poor ant, analogously but ironically we enjoyed! Back to the same anchoring point, we set back on the same open air jeeps. Post shoe-wearing ceremony, we all set off for the amazing trek. What was called a trek was actually a site seeing activity combined with a walk through the jungle. Anyhow, at the top of the hill there was a tower that provided a pretty good site of the landscape, got some snaps clicked. It was only 4:30 and we reached the base camp. Post tea we planned to spend some time with each other playing football or some other game as we were all scheduled to leave by 5:30. The lightning struck again and due to some unavoidable emergency conditions, we had to take our steps off. None of us felt bad, I am not kidding, seriously, none of us!

Back in the bus, we started the world famous, Dumb C. Dumb’ed by the tweaking of the return plan, we all played it pretty well. The game was pretty amazing with people going through a set of E –MO-TIONS, from laughter to embarrassment, from anger to helplessness! The back benchers were loaded with joy and the tyre could not take it any more…fisssssssssss….puncture! Post tyre change the hooligans started dancing! Who says you need a floor to dance, its just a mood to grove that can make everyone shake a leg or two. The hunted talent of the night was Sowmya, personally I never thought she could dance so well. With the party rolling we reached our destination and tired but not exhausted we landed. Time to shutdown the engines but only to give a double rev next day. We all enjoyed the trip and I know there are some grudges, but I will not say that no rose comes without a thorn because I love sunflower, with always sunny side up!
On the whole a special thanks to Sridhar, Rajesh, Solai Pichhi, Dipraksh, Pidad and Shalet for taking all the pains and making those efforts to ensure that we all enjoy to the core. Don’t you think we should have more events of these kinds! Hail ZTRANS, the core of fun lovers on EGD-6/7th floor!