Jimming!

Six pack, chiseled arms, bulging chest and fluttering wings! These are a turn on for so many gals...and a dream for more guys! I am no different and since my "hosh sambhalna" days..i have been visiting the gyms! I have never been consistent and have never taken it too seriously...but its fun to visit a gym...especially the "co-ed" or co-gym kinds where the chicks sweat it out with dudes!

Times have changed a lot since the day i first lifted a bar.Most of the iron in "pumping iron" has been replaced with rubber and cables, instructors have become more diet conscious than weight oriented and size is not the only thing that matters now but there are some things that have just remained the same...each generation of novice gymmers whom i call "jimmyz" do the same mistakes! yes i am talking abt the bloopers in gym! everyone who has been visiting gym would have seen atleast one of the stupidities that i m going to mention...and most of them happen in "co-ed" kind gyms.

Before i start..i wud like to introduce u to one of the common characters in the gym..she is an above average looking chick standing at the corner oggling at u! now read on to know wat all she can do!

One of the most common things that most guys do is to over do the set coz that chick on the corner is checking u out...man...over doing wont do any good to u..and the oggling eyes of the chick wont massage ur cramped muscles!

Another annoying but really funny thing that guys do in gym, and that too again to impress the same chick oggling from that corner is to make noise while lifting weight! Sir, u are not making love in the gym...i agree that talking to urself does motivate u..but plz talk to urself plz....u shud not misunderstand ur moans to b a mating call for the chick..she is not gonna get aroused on hearing u scream!

Now gals are not the only factors that make guys commit mistakes...some of us are really dumb enough to create funny situations and i thank them coz laughter is a good exercise!

Let me tell u this...yesterday i was standing next to the instructor discussing his family problems when suddenly we saw a guy holding the cable with his mouth and pulling it! normally that cable is used for tricep(part of ur arm) xtensions but on seeing him use it for jaw strengthening the instructor ran to him...when asked wat was that moron trying to do, we were non-chalantely informed that he is working out his face and wants a longer face with good cheek bones! man-o-man..i have nothing to say abt him...some people are born intelligent..he was one of them!!

A point to be noted is that in a gym, being over shy and reserved can be fatal. Most guys who dont have gym partners tend to workout alone...and most of the times end up lifting weights beyond their capacity. Best part comes when they dont even have anyone to provide support! The deadly combo is that u are shy so u didnt ask for any support, then u are lifting weight (more than the burden of ur family), and the same chick is oggling at u...man u are doomed!! its a weight that u just couldnot "do" and instead u tend to "overdo" ...so while u are struggling to lift it...making all kind of noises..concentrating hard on the weights as well as the corner of the gym...mother earth comes into picture...gravity was always there..but u suddenly start realising its presence to be more astounding! now u are lying on this bench with the rod lying on ur chest..and u cant lift it to put it back on stand...u cant ask for any help coz u are shy..and u cant shout coz u think that the chick is still checking u out! u are in no soup..u are in shit and gravity indeed sucks! god save u from such situations!

one of the best place to get some of the funniest situations in the gym is to stand next to the instructor..people are so inquisitive and concerned that they unknowingly tend to increas their humour quotient...how can i make my neck thicker..i want a dimple on my cheeks,wat to do...wats the exercise for eyes....will it hurt tomorrow if lift a lot of weight today....i have annual day celebration next week and i want to look slim for the attire i m gonna wear, so how can i lose 10kg in a week (quickly visit somalia)....i dnt want to lose fat from my arms and legs, but only want it to vanish from my paunch, how to do that....why dont u reduce the fee of the gym, alredy i spend so much on eating, so i dnt want to waste more money on losing weight..these are some of the normal ones i can recall.. but the funniest one that beats all of these hands down is..

"i have constipation and i have been struggling for 2 days now...wat exercise shud help me attend the nature's call confortably"...the moment he told this...i left the gym coz gas molecules disperse pretty easily and i didnt have cold that day!

so all this really happens in a gym and most of these happen with jimmyz...i bet each one of us wud have come across one thing or the other!!

P.S: If u kno some incident that is worth mentioning..kindly comment it out..i wud b more than happy to add it to the writeup with ur name, u c i hate plagiarism!
Also plz dnt send any goons to bash me up if i mocked at u!

happy jimming and stay healthy and dnt forget...everyone has to land in the grave..its upto the person to chose how he/she lands there....wanna reach there crawling,struggling,panting with million diseases on his/her shoulders or just wanna keep running till the end and take a final plunge into it!


happy living!

LifeITstyle

Bangalore is flooded with them, so is hyderabad and gurgaon and noida etc etc..Dont know abt the other cities but in Bangalore most of them live the same life. Yesterday a bunch of juniors from my college landed in bangalore, with offer from MNCz in hand and a decent salary, decent enough to support an above average lifestyle. They were looking for a 2BHK, which has some facilities and while talking to them they revealed that they had a "talli" (aka booze) party last night!

I was being pushed back in time. Nostalgia made me realize that Bloody all of us are the same. We start from the same point and grow up the ladder in the same manner! I dont know abt the ones who are staying here with families and all..infact i pity them coz they are missing the best fun one can have...but I am majorly talking abt we "immigrants" in this IT country renamed as Bengalodu!!

To begin with, most of us get handpicked from our college campuses. Most of the times, irrespective of our background/trade of studies we get a job in IT. With a good package being offered we get tempted to land in this city..miles away from our houses. The moment we step on this "karma" bhoomi we become a part of the collective noun called IT engineer. The only thing that makes us stand out of the lot is "our name"..pappu, babloo, pinki, jumbo, gabbar...if u have these kind of names then u can stand out..else u are just a part of the group..lost somewhere in the pile of names.
A typical immigrants life starts with the search for a house. We find a couple of guys with whom we can share the house and then start the hunt. Searching for 2BHKz...avoiding brokers..setting our minimum requirements right! Actually these min requirements are very common in our community..a good clean house, bigger rooms, easily accessible eating joints, preferably close to a house loaded with good looking people of opposite sex (this holds truER for guys) and connectivity to office!! if all of them are met..we move in!!
the first things to b set up in the house are a maid, a cook(sometimes), a set of mattresses and beds and BROADBAND connection. We can live without TV but not without broadband connection. Nowadays most of the companies "enforce" WFH..which officially means work from home...but for bachelors it ends up being work from heaven..where they can sit in their shorts, keep munching something and keep working [ :P ]...for married men WFH can be translated into work from hell..where their wife and kids are always dancing on their head while they are trying to attend calls with people in office [this line has been reproduced ditto from one of my colleagues mouth].
ok..so we are settled..living a cozy life..monday cribbing and going to office!! Now this going to office is a tricky part..needs a lot of research and analysis and I would suggest some1 in local Haravard (Harvarduu), Dharward or any ward or MIT (Mahila Insti of Technology) to pursue his/her PhD. in this. Abstract of the thesis cud b as follows:
From monday to friday..if u leave for office before 8:30-9 then ur avg speed on the road wud b 30-40 kmph..subject to variation with the number of potholes on the way to office! but if u leave between 9:01 and 11:00 then ur avg speed wud b 10-12kmph..if u set off anytime after 11:00 u are a happy soul..u can use the top speed marker of ur vehicle!!
On the way to office, somethings that are bound to happen are:
1) if u are travelling by bus, then ur cell phone, wallet or mp3 player will get stolen..no matter how smart or alert u are..u are blessed to donate!! so take it in a positive note.
2) if u are commuting on a bike, besides the "close to footpath sand slipping" accidents, u are bound to abuse minimum 3 auto guys, get abused by minimum two 4 wheeler guys and ride on the footpath for minimum 1 km.
3) if u have a four wheeler..god bless u..why cant u work from home dude??

The monotony is uniform in this community..reach office, check mail, have coffee..THINK of work,check mail, have lunch, gossip, check mail, have coffee, evening snacks, start work, keep working, work more, feel tired, have coffee, order food, work again...so its 10-11pm...time to start wrapping up things..12:00am we are home! this thing goes in a loop for 5 days a week, for atleast 2 yrs..till u get settled in this industry.
Weekends are rocking for the IT guys, hit the PUBS, booze OR go to discs, booze and dance OR sit at home, booze OR watch movie, booze!! so more or less..booze and do something else!!
Sundays staying hanging from ur bed due to hangover..and monday back to line 78 above!!

this is a lifestyle of a majority of IT guys..but there are some exceptions..those who pursue some sports everyday, those who pump iron or those who do social work (most of them due to profile building for foreign universities). There is a small gentry that goes out for trekkings...not to forget there is a huge chunk that writes MOCK CAT repeatedly year after year on sundays..there is a big crowd that loves to switch jobs every 6 mnths, so they are busy with their walk-ins..and there is a huge janta that is busy with their dating break-up schedule!!!

So in a PROGRAMMING SHELL (not the nut shell) most of us follow the same trodden path atleast for the first 2-3 yrs of our lives...most of us dnt even realise that we are flowing with the stream for so many days...and when we realise we get up to do something big and different! but those who love to flow with the stream and hate unsettlement and change..just appreciate others and write blogs!

P.S: I kno i might have missed the special things "YOU" do..but i was referring to people like me called "us-the IT engineers".

I am reminded of my english teacher who once spanked me coz i used "he" to refer to my dog instead of "IT"..today i understand why she asked me to use "IT" to refer to the dog...coz Bloody all of them are the same too! thanx Mrs. Sachhar!

doleful me!!

I was asked my favourite band, a band with whom i can relate myself, if not a band then atleast a style of music or a singer...but to my own surprise I didnt have any one to name. This question was shot at me during my campus recruitment interview and even today the wound is as fresh as the first day!! Why cant I love IRON MAIDEN, why cant I die for BRYAN ADAMs, why cant I be a die hard fan of a single kind of music...is there a "loyalty" problem in me?? am i bit too far away from dogs ( known for their loyalty)

While i was busy digging my soul to find the answers I realised that I was enjoying the song being played in my music player..It was a sad song..painful..low spirited heartsick song!! I was amazed that how can a "jolly" person like me can be so "self sadist". Within a flash I copied all my songs to winamp and started scanning the huge list of 4000 songs to find my favourite ones...and guess what...to my SHOCK and AWE and HORROR..most of them...ok let me frank....all of them were doleful!!

For the knowledge of all those who dont know me..I am not at all a loser kind of guy who is busy crying and cribbing for things...never do i get into those female characteristic mood swings and I always love, infact strive hard to make sure that the ambience around me happy-happy. Then why the hell do i like such painful songs...

some of my fav songs are:
0) Fiddler on the Green by Demons and Wizards
1) Bheegi bheegi from Gangster
2) Nothing else matters By Metallica
3) 2 minutes to midnight by Iron Maiden

The list is long but the only common thing among them is that these songs make my soul shiver..arranged in decreasing order of shivering!! Though most of us would love to inform me that some of these songs are not that remorseful but if we go through the lyrics and history/showcasing of each song then we would realise that they do deserve some tears!
Actually I realised some thing while writing the last line above..the word "lyrics"...YES..thats the word...I dont like music..I like the lyrics! For each song i love to listen i love the words presented in a plate with backgrnd music....the heavier the lyrics the more i feel the song and the more i like it..
also in most of them there is a heavy role of guitar too and as i say..."the guitar cries" these songs!!!

Now is this an uncommon trait? is this something unique to me and gr8 enough that i can mention it in my resume?? or is it a common thing that people appreciate lyrics more than the "sound" in it?? So as I find the answers to all this..u ppl enjoy one of my favourite ones!!

Let there be LIGHT!!

we are all about burning....we are no more than a freaking candle...one body made of wax...a soul that acts as a wick and the flame of time keeps this flame burning making the wax melt and burn out...the more the wick burns..the more enlightened we are!! to start with, we are a fresh piece of candle..barely able to stand straight..but with time, the wax melts to provide a support to the base and our hold keeps increasing with more wax getting deposited on the base. but there is a quid pro quo here...more the wax on the base...lesser we have around the wick...and we keep growing old! though the flame maintains its strength, the wick and wax start depleting and the only way left for us to maintain our entity is to "ENLIGHTEN" other candles...more the number of candles we help enlighten, more famous and reknowned we are!! its a simple logic...no candle can burn for ever...so its each candle's responsibility to enlighten other candles with its flame..so that "LIGHT" is always there!!

Now that was heavy...very very heavy as per my philosophical standards. Wat i actually wanted to write about was burning the fat on our body...sweating out...staying fit and see wat i ended up writing...

what inspired me to do so is shown below:



i kno i lack focus and direction...and should quit writing!! i promise i will give just few more tries with this writing stuff and if i still fail...i ll bid adieu!!

ŏn'trə-prə-nûr'

Ola buddies, I am back..after a short stint of hibernation things are going to be wrapped in this polythene again and this time on a more regular basis.

Today on the occasion of completing my 2 years of proffessional life, I thought of straining my greying cells and triggered the contemplative part of my junkyard (aka brain). For 2 years I have been honestly and sincerely serving my company and the company has been equally recriprocating by satisfying my materialistic as well as anyotherilistic desires. But I never dreamed of ending up being a software engineer. My dream was to fly an aeroplane and I have gained enough sensibility to realise that I can never get a license to fly the plane. Then whats my next dream??? whats my goal in life?? where am I heading?? where was I tailing!!

Besides all this, like every normal human being, I get impressed by my surroundings. Its the simple law of stimuli and response which makes me follow the trend in the society. AND what is the society doing nowadays?? where is the IT youth heading??

I have realised that 7 out of 10 ITians are enlightened by the fact that they have to grow. Now out of those 7 only 5 know that they have to do something different, out of the trunk kinds to grow and stand out (of the trunk). Out of those 5 only 3 know what has to be done or can be done. And only 2 out of those 3 take a step ahead. One of those two goes in the technical line, well trodden path of GRE, GMAT, CAT(I hate it) etc etc..whereas the other one does something really different.

Now dont think I am the ONE..whose anagram can result in "NEO". I am still there in the 7 out of 10 category. But this ONE, hereanafter reffered to as NEO..or lets call it ENO, is spreading its wings in this country. I am coming across more and more people who are starting thier own ventures. Most of the ENOs have been following a dream for ages and when IT have empowered them with enough capital to put at stake, they strive towards accomplishing those dreams.

Let me quote some examples of ENO dreams/ideas:

before i begin, I would like to suggest you that kindly dont think twice of stealing any of these ideas and making it your dream. Coz i know and I am dead sure that unless its your own dream/idea you cant pursue it.
1) starting a sports management organisation.
2) starting a general event management organisation.
3) starting an online magazine
4) starting a bike/car modification business
5) starting a website, that makes money
6) starting consultancy, providing views/suggestions from balls to balls (both are different kind of balls)
7) starting an online refferal agency.
8) not to forget, writing blog once in a while (giving credit to myself).

I have seen that to be an ENO, a "fizzzz" factor is a must. The fizz should be strong enough to solve any social gastro problems and should have enough energy to make its way through any oesophagus. Blah blah blah...most important. Eno should have an idea and he/she should work towards it. Most of the times ENO knows that it is heading towards money making, like Microsoft, Apple etc whereas rest of the times it just happens, like orkut, google etc!

French people call these ENOs entrepreneurs but hereon I/we will call them Eno...coz they have got that fizzzz to set the right things right and show the exit to the wrong things!!

Before I end all this let me clarify my stand. I am only in the 7 out of 10 category and if u jump to 5 out of 7 category, i am in the left out 2, sitting cosy on my chair in front of my computer playing ALT-TAB game. Off late I have realised its pretty interesting to play that game. Try it out in your free time! Do nothing. Open your mail in one window and open a social networking site in other and keep pressing ALT-TAB, hoping a new mail or a scrap/message will hit your screen. Also to make this game more interesting. You can press F5 occasionally!! Its not that big a waste of life!!

While I play this game, Hats off to the ENOzzzz...keep it up...keep fizzing!

Better late than never ...ctd..

Enough of USA...let me finish this soon!!! "Back to austin from Dallas with 10kg of shopping, i started packing my bags and before i cud realise it was the day to leave...I loaded my bag with another 10kg of chocolates and flew to India..Austin, Cincinnati, Paris and Bangalore...bang!! I was in india!" Wow....wat a relief...I was so happy to see my friends!! I was so satisfied to be back safe and sound!! End of my second "out of country" trip..."

THE END

PS...I once went to Nepal to fetch my cricket ball while playing cricket in Pithoragarh!

Better late than never , Episode 1

Who knows me better than "ME"..I knew i m a lazy lousy fellow who is the king of all procastinators when it comes to writing and thats why i wrapped my blog in a polythene to save it from the dust which will accumulate over it while i m busy avoiding writing :) Now this "Better late than never" soap opera is my attempt to clean that dust!! I am back to India..and before smelling the soil of motherland i did a lot of "masti" which i didn't update...So for my personal records and for all of you who atleast like reading these write ups...here i go!!

Episode 1 starts with my trip to Dallas.... With my one small bag which had 3 pairs of essential clothings i set off for dallas in the famous "greyhound" bus...More than being excited for going to a different city I was joyous for meeting my buddy Abhimanyu..aka Abhi! I had my camera hanging around my neck and I was trying to capture all the scenic moments on the highway..but only god knows when I dozed off! When I opened my eyes I was at the bus stop. I got down..called Abhi and there he was with his sparkling black Accord. With a warm hug and a big smile we started off...We were talking a lot and she was guiding us ..infact trying to guide us. She was hanging to the windscreen of the car and they call it GPS..which for me stood for GOD Please Shutup...In her cranking nasal voice she tried a lot to ensure we reach "Six Flags" through the shortest route but we were hell bent on testing its "Recalculating" strategies.. Six Flags is an amusement park like our Essel world, wonderla etc etc..But it boasts of having some of the world's biggest and steepest rides...mind u ...they were being compared at the WORLD level....and that was a good enough reason for us to take those rides... I wont bug u with all the description of rides but one of them is worth mentioning...Its a roller coaster which is freaking 150-200ft high and has a fall of 70 degrees...till we sat in that ride we were in dilemma to do it or not...we gave many reasons to convince each other for that ride but the only reason that made us sit in that ride was that we were standing in the queue...AND it was our turn...All buckled up the roller coaster treaded slowly towards the top from where it had to start the "death fall"..a steep 70 degrees ensured that we cant see the guy in frnt of us..and the height was enough to make us breath as much air in a second as much ...ok forget it..we stopped breathing..the coaster fell and I could barely see the ground closing in...MUMMY...and i closed the eyes :) we fell fell fell...and i realise how humpty dumpty would be feeling after being falling for years now !!
but soon my pocket made me realise that i m wasting my dollars if i close my eyes...i opened them..and man...we were zooming at 170-200kmph...so so so so fast...that i could see myself at 2 points on the coaster at the same time.. exaggeration unintended! Though I am supposed to take many more enthralling RIDES in my life ahead...but this one was "class apart"

Six flags ended with both of dehydrating !! We started our search for a motel and after a couple of hours of rest and masti at "Swami Ji's" motel we set off to "Madras pavillion" which promised to provide us the best of Indian food in Dallas! before i proceed further i would like to confess something... Swami ji incase u read this write up..we would like to apologise for breaking ur bed in course of our summer sault photography stint!!

At night we went to Dallas downtown and bottom line is...it sucks!! Next day we went to Dallas's Outlet malls..did a whooping shopping of 500-700$ and thats the end of Dallas!!
Back to Austin I still shivered thinking of the roller coaster ride...
and yes..lest i forget I loved the ride in Abhi's car...We were frnds for yrs now...and we never dreamt of sitting in a "BIG" car playing our fav songs esp "Fanna from Yuva" and zooming on freeways in USA...Love u Abhi for all the fun we had

P.S. I AM STRAIGHT...dead straight...u can use me as a ruler to draw straight lines at times..so the love is not wat u pervert is thinking :)