Saturday, August 4, 2007

Jimming!




Six pack, chiseled arms, bulging chest and fluttering wings! These are a turn on for so many gals...and a dream for more guys! I am no different and since my "hosh sambhalna" days..i have been visiting the gyms! I have never been consistent and have never taken it too seriously...but its fun to visit a gym...especially the "co-ed" or co-gym kinds where the chicks sweat it out with dudes!

Times have changed a lot since the day i first lifted a bar.Most of the iron in "pumping iron" has been replaced with rubber and cables, instructors have become more diet conscious than weight oriented and size is not the only thing that matters now but there are some things that have just remained the same...each generation of novice gymmers whom i call "jimmyz" do the same mistakes! yes i am talking abt the bloopers in gym! everyone who has been visiting gym would have seen atleast one of the stupidities that i m going to mention...and most of them happen in "co-ed" kind gyms.

Before i start..i wud like to introduce u to one of the common characters in the gym..she is an above average looking chick standing at the corner oggling at u! now read on to know wat all she can do!

One of the most common things that most guys do is to over do the set coz that chick on the corner is checking u out...man...over doing wont do any good to u..and the oggling eyes of the chick wont massage ur cramped muscles!

Another annoying but really funny thing that guys do in gym, and that too again to impress the same chick oggling from that corner is to make noise while lifting weight! Sir, u are not making love in the gym...i agree that talking to urself does motivate u..but plz talk to urself plz....u shud not misunderstand ur moans to b a mating call for the chick..she is not gonna get aroused on hearing u scream!

Now gals are not the only factors that make guys commit mistakes...some of us are really dumb enough to create funny situations and i thank them coz laughter is a good exercise!

Let me tell u this...yesterday i was standing next to the instructor discussing his family problems when suddenly we saw a guy holding the cable with his mouth and pulling it! normally that cable is used for tricep(part of ur arm) xtensions but on seeing him use it for jaw strengthening the instructor ran to him...when asked wat was that moron trying to do, we were non-chalantely informed that he is working out his face and wants a longer face with good cheek bones! man-o-man..i have nothing to say abt him...some people are born intelligent..he was one of them!!

A point to be noted is that in a gym, being over shy and reserved can be fatal. Most guys who dont have gym partners tend to workout alone...and most of the times end up lifting weights beyond their capacity. Best part comes when they dont even have anyone to provide support! The deadly combo is that u are shy so u didnt ask for any support, then u are lifting weight (more than the burden of ur family), and the same chick is oggling at u...man u are doomed!! its a weight that u just couldnot "do" and instead u tend to "overdo" ...so while u are struggling to lift it...making all kind of noises..concentrating hard on the weights as well as the corner of the gym...mother earth comes into picture...gravity was always there..but u suddenly start realising its presence to be more astounding! now u are lying on this bench with the rod lying on ur chest..and u cant lift it to put it back on stand...u cant ask for any help coz u are shy..and u cant shout coz u think that the chick is still checking u out! u are in no soup..u are in shit and gravity indeed sucks! god save u from such situations!

one of the best place to get some of the funniest situations in the gym is to stand next to the instructor..people are so inquisitive and concerned that they unknowingly tend to increas their humour quotient...how can i make my neck thicker..i want a dimple on my cheeks,wat to do...wats the exercise for eyes....will it hurt tomorrow if lift a lot of weight today....i have annual day celebration next week and i want to look slim for the attire i m gonna wear, so how can i lose 10kg in a week (quickly visit somalia)....i dnt want to lose fat from my arms and legs, but only want it to vanish from my paunch, how to do that....why dont u reduce the fee of the gym, alredy i spend so much on eating, so i dnt want to waste more money on losing weight..these are some of the normal ones i can recall.. but the funniest one that beats all of these hands down is..

"i have constipation and i have been struggling for 2 days now...wat exercise shud help me attend the nature's call confortably"...the moment he told this...i left the gym coz gas molecules disperse pretty easily and i didnt have cold that day!

so all this really happens in a gym and most of these happen with jimmyz...i bet each one of us wud have come across one thing or the other!!

P.S: If u kno some incident that is worth mentioning..kindly comment it out..i wud b more than happy to add it to the writeup with ur name, u c i hate plagiarism!
Also plz dnt send any goons to bash me up if i mocked at u!

happy jimming and stay healthy and dnt forget...everyone has to land in the grave..its upto the person to chose how he/she lands there....wanna reach there crawling,struggling,panting with million diseases on his/her shoulders or just wanna keep running till the end and take a final plunge into it!


happy living!

8 comments:

wrappedinapolythene said...

ahem ahem....wats that now?

Dev said...

OYE... yeh kee ho raha hai pappe ? yeh dhono comments samaj na saka mein, thanne ek aur page likh. samja mujhe ki log blog mai utte bada bada shabd kyo likhthey hai ki shabdkosh ke bin kuch bhi samaj mai na ayae..

Rahul said...

A kewl and nice post .. had a fun time reading ...
is this really YOUR story by any chance as mentioned by abhimanyu ;)

nikhiltaneja said...

lol sir.. sexy post. for once ur sense of humour has come out quite well! but after reading this, im scared of JIMMING even more! waise bhi kabhi jaane nahin wala tha ab to lagta hai if i go to a gym, someone out there wud definitely be making a blog on me!!!

wrappedinapolythene said...

MY APOLOGY TO ABHIMANYU..sorry had to delete ur comment due to serious issues cropping up both at home and outside...action has been taken purely in private interest!

thushar said...

"MY APOLOGY TO ABHIMANYU..sorry had to delete ur comment due to serious issues cropping up both at home and outside...action has been taken purely in private interest!"

psst!!...i'd like to know :D

Prakhar said...

good one!!
I'm thinking what foolishness would i wake of those oggling eyes!!

Raghu said...

Aswesome post man !!! facts are facts,,, many knows.... yet many don't... happy reading !!!!