Monday, September 24, 2007

Wat to name this as ...

Before i start this writeup...i wud like to state that i m not the first one to call Shakespeare a moron and hence i shud not be sued for it! I am just one of the many who proudly denounce his highly talked about proverbs. Today I am gonnna attack his famous saying, "what's in a name" which i think is one of the dumbest statements ever made...Had he been alive i wud have loved to address him as Shiekh Spear or Shake spear or Ramu or Chameli or ZXDERF and would have waited for his reaction! I wonder if he would have even remotely felt related to those nouns.

Actually it all started on Friday evening. Celly pings me to chalk out a plan for dinner and as usual, the more than happy side of me asks, where?? Incomes the reply, Oye Amritsar! Now going with the marshallish repo of my dear frnd celly, I thought she was mocking at me and was asking me to go to Amritsar for dinner, which I thought was her home town :) So I neglected the statement and again asked,"seriously where"! She again said, "oye amritsar"! Hmmm so then it struck me that there could b a place tagged "oye amritsar"..and to confirm it I asked where is it!! She told me the directions and I just smiled at my foolishness.. More than half of my brain was mocking at the person who named the restaurant so rudely but the remaining part of it was being humble and telling me that "whats in a name".. I reached the discourteous court and while my body was busy eating, my head was still echoing with Shakespearez words! Then came the boss, my frnd Rishi's boss with his kid in arms, held cosily. the boss and kid were all smiles on seeing Rishi with a gorgeous gal and walked upto him! Rishi (name changed, not to avoid hurting him..but coz therez nothing in the name u c) , gets up and shakes hands firmly with the boss..and as a sign of courtesy pinches or koochi-kooes the kids cheeks and said..."hello piyush"...Though i didnt hear a lightening but the boss's face was struck with one! He pivoted around, pulling the kid away and a baritone echoed out of his mouth..."its not Piyush, its Pratyush"!! Man-o-man...I was rolling on the table laughing and so was Celly!! While my present tense was busy laughing my past tense was still conflicting over ..wats in a name!! And this incident proved that therez a lot in the name..

Just imagine ..you are born a gal and your parents have christened you bubbloo! You would have been doomed for life and beyond your imagination you would have faced a million problems...teachers would have made you stand up million times for giving proxy attendance for your fictitious best frnd...your credentials filled in any questionaire would have been checked twice to make sure that you have ticked the right box for the section "sex" and have not mistaken the noun "sex" as verb "sex" and ticked the F letter :)...many a guys would have refused to go arnd with u just to prov that they are straight...and as we all kno that gals get undue advantage when teachers give them marks, u wud have been deprived of those!! god knows wat all wud have got messed up in ur life!

OK...we talked abt the gender touch in the name..but wat if ur name is totally absurd...just imagine that u were baptised as something u jst cant relate to...some parents do that coz they are very passionate abt sm things and they want their kids to b living symbols of their passions!christiano ronaldo was named after brazilian ronaldo, i guess so, but its ok but imagine smthng like this...
a wild life conservationist names his kid, zebra...all throughout his life poor kid will b mistaken to b an offspring of a black man and a white woman!! or a car maniac names his kid Ferrari, all throughout his/her life people will keep looking for the silencer and horny side in him/her! or just imagine a numerology guy names his child DSCRFT coz those alphabets add upto make his lucky number, I dnt think i have to tell the problem that will crop up after naming ur kid DSCRFT!

So Dear respected Shakespeare, there is a lot in the name... I think most of us would like to second me on that...and those who dont agree...plz go and check what was Shakespeare's offspring's name! I am sure it wud have been Helmet..after his famous play Hamlet!!

6 comments:

thushar said...

whatever u say, i'm naming my son (click)BILE !!! ;)

Varun Sadana said...

Nice One Haathi, ohh Sorrym Ashish, there's a lot in the name.
As for Thushar's Son, he is lying, he is gonna name him Haile Gebreselassie! Then make him read this article!

Meena said...

Ashish, You are an "IDIOT" and this is the NAME i am calling you with does it change you as a person or character??? Not at all! That's what Shakespeare meant... Someone said "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but NAMES will never hurt me" The NAME here is same as Shakespeare's quote.

Name is a big deal of course in many other cases where someone else said..."A person with a bad NAME is already half-hanged" and this quote interprets the NAME as you did. Sorry about being soooooo elaborative but I didn't mean to suck up...

Bindu said...

Ofcourse Shakespeare didnt mean that its oke to call u ASSish :p what he meant apparently means much more than the sum of his words ashish..

Sir Abhimanyu Girotra, Dunbar the Earldom. said...

ashish.this is one of the best articles that you have ever written. With this maturity you would be the star writer of graffiti . Truly amazing.....

surabhi said...

that was amazing poet sahab
so what name shud we assign u
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
difficult task, wait for the next comment