I love..

This is my first & as of now the last love-letter...

i love
i love ur thump when you jump with joy!
I love when you kiss my head, like I am your boy!!
i love ur whisper when you slide on wet grass,
i love when for you I dive and crash
my love
i love the way you swing in air
i love to see you fly so high
i love to listen you scream in my ear
i just wanna be with you; never say good-bye!!


i was forced to add this line bcoz most of you are thinking that its for a person!!

His-tory!!

Two sensational or rather path-breaking news have come within a week which have forced a weird thought in me...
First one is the withdrawal of section 377, legalizing marital relationship with a person of same sex, a.k.a gay relationships (no offense intended)
Second, Scientists being able to produce artificial sperms from stem cells.

So squeezing & blending these two news, the juicy thought that came out of the mixer was- are we heading towards an era where men will be a redundant entity!!!
With due respect to geniuses who will say that men are not required only to produce offspring, I am daring to imagine a world where "MAN" will become an endangered species!!

According to a survey conducted by Cosmo, if given a choice 76% women prefer to have a girl child & I guess rest dont want to have a child!! I have always wondered that despite having the ability to bitch about their best female friend, women still prefer a girl child; another woman in their lives..probably coz they are easier to handle or god knows why!!!!

Anyways...if you think of an earth where we have mostly women, roaming around in free space....hold ur imagination...dont imagine that u are the only man there!!!
There will be other men too but due to their rarity, they will be kept in special protected areas called "Him-alaya"!! Women will visit those places to show their female kids what "Men" were...

Or men will only be seen at construction, digging, mining sites..which require muscle power & the capability to work against all odds!! Thankfully the board "men at work" will not change!!

But the board saying "dont pee on this wall" or "look the donkey is peeing" will be seen nowhere...as roadside peeing will become an extinct art!!

Every building will have a new storey, called "He-storey" {read history} dedicated for men.

The viewership of cartoon serials ending with "man" will increase drastically....He-Man, Spider-Man, Super-Man, Hanu-Man, Poke-Man etc etc !!!

Usage of words like "co-ed", " rape", "MF" , "bastard", "eve-teasing" will fall drastically!!

Sales of whiskey & black rum will plummet whereas vodka and flavored bacardi will sell like roadside tea.
On the other hand the commodities like capstan, navy cut, wills, fair and handsome cream, viagra etc etc will go out of production!!

There will be no pockets in pants for handkerchieves & wallets, probably there will be no "fly" as well!!Belt might go out of fashion & waist will be all elastic!!

These things are still bearable....but take this...

Half of the world will be pink...and the other half "zingu"...{generally I hear such weird names of colours like beige, bottle-green, sea-green, sky-green,green-green...so i m sure there will be a zingu-green too!!} I guess Rainbow itself will be re-defined to have more than 7 colours!!

Women will have all the authority in the world, the world will be neat & tidy..so tidy that even pigs will find it difficult to survive, the birds will have to think twice before they "do the do" while flying....everything will be in place!!

Each building will have a huge, huge & huge compound for Parking...facilitating parking in any direction...probably the parking markers on the ground will no longer be rectangular...they will be circular!!

Each road, each street, each lane will have a direction pointer & milestone!!

Car accident will not be considered a crime..instead there will be allowances for road accidents in national budgets..but 80kmhr will be considered over-speeding!!

Toast-Master club will be renamed to Toast-Mistress and ladies would be encouraged to have lavish gossip sessions..

Every country's national food will be cheese...it will sell like salt!!

The situation might worsen so much that even the words like "mail" & "many" will be replaced by "femail" & "womany"!! Even the quotations will be modified to suit women...one of my favourite ones that will fade away is: "Behind every successful man, there is a woman"...Successful and man will never be supporting each other in a sentence!!

The book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" will have a second edition "Men were from Mars & Woman are on Earth"

In short, women will have the power to fulfill all their needs in their hands!!! :)

Last but not the least, I would definitely love to be one of those who will be "bred" in "Him-alaya"!! ;)

Phewww....what do you say will happen in such a world??? Despite imagining all this I know men will never be extinct...not only because they will force themselves out of rarity but also because the fairer sex will not let them run out of numbers!!
They need us almost as much as we need them....i think so!!

Obama is a guinea pig!!

I feel that the hype and hoopla being created around Mr. President, is a mist created to cover the ground realities. Mr. President falls under several categories which make him vulnerable to be a guinea for the vested interests of many.
1) His timing; Everything around is going wrong, economy is crumbling, frauds are unearthing, people are going jobless, USA's war decisions are being proven wrong and criminal, nobody has a clue what is going to happen and how its going to be back to normal. In this grim situation comes a man who will fix everything and bring smile to everyone's face..No i m not talking about Santa (not even the Santa of Santa Banta fame), I am talking about Mr Obama. He is the superman, he can do everything, everything that's beyond human capabilities like race against time. He will heal the economic wounds much before they would normally heal, his midas touch will bring the glory of gold back in the sunlight.....Isnt this what is being projected??
Basically, its a human behaviour...whenever we get into trouble, we look for support and a shoulder..or probably a garbage bin where we can dump all our problems & pains and then watch from a distance.Mr. President has been made to bear the load of the world, and he will have to rise above his human capabilities to fix things within time. Otherwise,two things will happen; the problems will get resolved with time OR the problem will stay for some more time and then get resolved :)

2) His abilities/inabilities; He is a black and a born-muslim. So people are using those characteristics as a selling point as well. To showcase how he has risen from nowhere and then using it as his USP. I dont doubt his days of struggle but are they big enough to make him bear the load of the world?

3) American attitude; I have noticed that since Americans are elite pampered kids of the world, for them even a small fart is a HUGE bang. Everybody starts talking about it, everybody starts getting scared and running around, everybody is concerned....its like...ohh my god, he is eating with unwashed hands...he can die of jaundice, please donate for his hospitalisation!
So even though the world crisis is humungous, it can be solved by doing work and not creating havoc!! On a similar note, before Obama several president's have taken oath, then what is it that is so big about him that you can make him a superhero even before he has done anything

I think Obama is just a name being used to sell things, being used to dump the work on, being used to give a name to a guinea pig!

....welcome onboard Mr. President. Please prove me wrong, i will be more than happy!

Irony

I think the following statement is one of the biggest irony of literary world...

What's there in a name.....
-William Shakespeare

My thoughts

Among the million views and suggestions floating around, this might be just another solution to the present "terror-struck" india's problems but I think its worth a try. What do you guys/gals say about it??

Terror strikes in India is not a new problem and I think we will always be aimed at because of the face we show to the world. We are a bunch of confused lot...billions of leaves flowing down a stream, no one knows what and where its heading and what to do when the next waterfall comes!

In this situation, I think the most generic solution to India's defence related problems is building a more disciplined and responsible India. Indians, as we all, are busy blaming government, intelligence, politicians, terrorists etc etc for the latest terror strikes in India. We believe that building a stronger intelligence network will help us fight against terrorists, having a proactive-less corrupt government will help us take bolder steps. But if you look at all major terror strikes, each attack has been innovatively different from the previous one. We all know that destroying anything is far easier than protecting it and when it comes to a huge country like India, there are million gaps from where the attackers can crawl in. How many crevasses will you gaurd??? No matter how alert we are, there will always be one guy who will help the guys on the other side in their motives and they will outsmart us!!Playing the role of a normal Indian, we are blaming government for intelligence failure, army for not protecting us and terrorists for targetting us...but what are we doing to ensure it doesnt happen again!!

I stronly feel that besides beefing up our current system, we should always be prepared for anything. We can follow the footsteps of Israel and let each and every Indian attend at least one year of military training. This training should teach us "crisis-management", should aim at making us mentally tougher and be more disciplined, should aim at teaching basic first-aid and do's and dont's. The military training though will steal one year from every one's career but that can be compensated by making changes to the education system or by including this training in education system etc etc. To begin with we can make the training voluntary and see the results and later make it mandatory.
@ Mr. Arjun Singh- Quota can be raised for such trained proffessionals.

Getting a military training will have multiple benefits. First of all we'll be mentally tough and more prepared for any kind of mishap. We will learn to be more responsible, responsible for everything from throwing a polythene bag on the road to casting a vote! We will be more disciplined, disciplined enough to drive in lane and not to jump lines! Basically India will be better than what it is today....a floor full of spilled beans!!
Just imagine how many of our dear friends who lost their lives in this mishap could have saved their as well as other lives if they had a better sense of "crisis-management". With due respect to the ones who lost their lives, I would like to quote an example. Many of the people on the 6th floor of Taj, lost their lives bcoz their rooms were set on fire and they were waiting for the fire-engines. You can easily recollect their pictures-standing at window and waving to people outside, calling for help!! Was it not possible for them to climb down the building through the windows using their curtains and bed-sheets. Some people did that and they are alive. Basically, when a mishap takes place, most of us panic and this training will do nothing but teach us how to maintain our calm and think for the best solution. Also when the guys on the other side know that we are more prepared for them, they will have to think twice before turning their eyes on our field.

I also think that this training might make many of us more disciplined and responsible in life which will indirectly solve many other problems like pollution, corruption and "feeling of indifference"!!

Currently India and we Indians are seen as sitting ducks, anybody comes and knocks us down! Not only external agents but the internal agencies also do the same, where lawmakers play with law, politicians and public servants play with public and we we are just indifferent to everything. "Sab chalta hai, atleast I am not getting directly affected!!" is an Indian personality trait. I think the only way we can improve is to imbibe discipline at the very grass-root level.

Last but not the least, if we groom our fighting spirit, even if we won't succeed in struggles or fights in our day to day life, at least we'll ensure that we don't go down without a fight!!

I feel that its easier said than done but its worth a try!! One or few of us can't make the difference which India needs, instead a radical change is important!

Hope ...Game On!!

Friends..

In an attempt to come up with something fresh and different, I have zeroed on this!! Its the best I could draw and hope my best is decent enough for you all! So from now on, besides writing, I will often come up with these drawings or pictures...and we will play a game....there are only 2 rules of the game:

Rule 1) I will post the picture and you will give it a title....For example, My title for this creation is HOPE! The title need not be one word only, it can be anything from a word to a line to a phrase to a blog..anything! The person who comes up with the best title will get a treat from me*.God Promise!!

* ONLY MY Terms and Conditions apply!

Rule 2) If you think you liked someone else's title..then rate it on a scale of 1-5..5 being the best!! Getting votes for your popularity is the only way of bribing me! Otherwise nobody argues with me in this game and quietly follows rule 1. 

If you think you are the outright winner...please feel free to claim your treat!

I didn't want to mention this but for those adamant souls...This is a monarchy and I am the LAW!

So Lets Game On!!

Yawwwnnn!!

Sitting over the cup of coffee in office Mr. Pulkit yaaawwwwwwwwwns...I thought it was just a symptom for lack of oxygen in his brain but in his dying phase of yawn with a moaning soul, he says "M bored...bored to the core with whatever is going around!! with every sunrise, a new day starts, with lot of fresh new people around but the same old me...same lousy face, who struggles to search his second pair of eyes while rubbing the first pair, same rotten toothbrush, same snoring flat mate! start getting ready for office and even before i finish getting geared up for work it's time for dinner, have dinner coz at night u can only have dinner and not lunch (sorry but cudnt find any better reason for having dinner) and then the same old day that gets over with same old glass of tea!! The only thing thats new everyday is my age, that is i get a day older and realising this I ve decided to brighten up my life...but dont kno how"

So the friend in me volunteered to give some suggestions to Mr Pulkit..plz feel free to add some more from ur personal experiences...special request to the IT engineers who definitely face this "Yawnnnn in afternoon as if its Dawn" syndrome and have found innovative ways of curing it!!

to begin with, since his day gets boring coz of a lousy morning, so he can try and avoid mornings and get up directly in afternoon! might be of great help!!
OR
may be he can try something unique everyday...be it inventing new modes of suicides which includes holding his breath till he runs out of it
OR
in office he can try to type with an upside down keyboard
OR
keeping a track of the number of times he refreshes his desktop aimlessly!
OR
counting the number of times he shakes his legs while chatting on gtalk!
OR
at the end of the day atleast think about changing his socks once in a week (this is a personal vengeance)!

while i scribble this, most of my dear friends esp those in the suicITal industry might be feeling related to Mr. Pulkit...must be hallucinating of sitting in the same boat that strays aimlessly everyday and before we realize this its time again to Yawwwwnnn!!