Thursday, July 9, 2009

His-tory!!

Two sensational or rather path-breaking news have come within a week which have forced a weird thought in me...
First one is the withdrawal of section 377, legalizing marital relationship with a person of same sex, a.k.a gay relationships (no offense intended)
Second, Scientists being able to produce artificial sperms from stem cells.

So squeezing & blending these two news, the juicy thought that came out of the mixer was- are we heading towards an era where men will be a redundant entity!!!
With due respect to geniuses who will say that men are not required only to produce offspring, I am daring to imagine a world where "MAN" will become an endangered species!!

According to a survey conducted by Cosmo, if given a choice 76% women prefer to have a girl child & I guess rest dont want to have a child!! I have always wondered that despite having the ability to bitch about their best female friend, women still prefer a girl child; another woman in their lives..probably coz they are easier to handle or god knows why!!!!

Anyways...if you think of an earth where we have mostly women, roaming around in free space....hold ur imagination...dont imagine that u are the only man there!!!
There will be other men too but due to their rarity, they will be kept in special protected areas called "Him-alaya"!! Women will visit those places to show their female kids what "Men" were...

Or men will only be seen at construction, digging, mining sites..which require muscle power & the capability to work against all odds!! Thankfully the board "men at work" will not change!!

But the board saying "dont pee on this wall" or "look the donkey is peeing" will be seen nowhere...as roadside peeing will become an extinct art!!

Every building will have a new storey, called "He-storey" {read history} dedicated for men.

The viewership of cartoon serials ending with "man" will increase drastically....He-Man, Spider-Man, Super-Man, Hanu-Man, Poke-Man etc etc !!!

Usage of words like "co-ed", " rape", "MF" , "bastard", "eve-teasing" will fall drastically!!

Sales of whiskey & black rum will plummet whereas vodka and flavored bacardi will sell like roadside tea.
On the other hand the commodities like capstan, navy cut, wills, fair and handsome cream, viagra etc etc will go out of production!!

There will be no pockets in pants for handkerchieves & wallets, probably there will be no "fly" as well!!Belt might go out of fashion & waist will be all elastic!!

These things are still bearable....but take this...

Half of the world will be pink...and the other half "zingu"...{generally I hear such weird names of colours like beige, bottle-green, sea-green, sky-green,green-green...so i m sure there will be a zingu-green too!!} I guess Rainbow itself will be re-defined to have more than 7 colours!!

Women will have all the authority in the world, the world will be neat & tidy..so tidy that even pigs will find it difficult to survive, the birds will have to think twice before they "do the do" while flying....everything will be in place!!

Each building will have a huge, huge & huge compound for Parking...facilitating parking in any direction...probably the parking markers on the ground will no longer be rectangular...they will be circular!!

Each road, each street, each lane will have a direction pointer & milestone!!

Car accident will not be considered a crime..instead there will be allowances for road accidents in national budgets..but 80kmhr will be considered over-speeding!!

Toast-Master club will be renamed to Toast-Mistress and ladies would be encouraged to have lavish gossip sessions..

Every country's national food will be cheese...it will sell like salt!!

The situation might worsen so much that even the words like "mail" & "many" will be replaced by "femail" & "womany"!! Even the quotations will be modified to suit women...one of my favourite ones that will fade away is: "Behind every successful man, there is a woman"...Successful and man will never be supporting each other in a sentence!!

The book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" will have a second edition "Men were from Mars & Woman are on Earth"

In short, women will have the power to fulfill all their needs in their hands!!! :)

Last but not the least, I would definitely love to be one of those who will be "bred" in "Him-alaya"!! ;)

Phewww....what do you say will happen in such a world??? Despite imagining all this I know men will never be extinct...not only because they will force themselves out of rarity but also because the fairer sex will not let them run out of numbers!!
They need us almost as much as we need them....i think so!!

1 comment:

surabhi said...

one of the finest thing i have read over a period of time!!!!! But u didnt miss ur signature style...making it politically correct (like alwaz) by adding the last sentence which ends with i think so!!!!!:P